Idiots & Customer Service.
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A Rant by Wizbone which is almost as needless as it is senseless.
                                                              ((2003))
I'm fed up. It feels as though I'm surrounded more and more by idiots. 
Idiots ruin our world, every aspect of it. Something has to be done 
about all the foolishness that goes on in this world or sooner or later 
something very bad is going to happen... probably by accident. 

As if it weren't bad enough that you and I are forced to encounter 
ignorant and childish people all day, but we have to be poorer because 
of them too. How? Lots of ways. Too many to get into, but let's look at 
one of the biggest culprits.

Two words: customer support. Once upon a time, if you bought a product or 
a service from a company and there was a problem with it, you could call 
Customer Service and have them replace/repair said product/service. 
"Customer Service" was never really that big of a deal. Many companies 
even required you to call a long-distance number to get help, it 
wasn't so bad.

Then came the technology revolution. Now every redneck yokel and his dog 
have a computer, a cellular phone, and an internet connection. There's no 
reason for the average Joe, or the average Joe Inc, to have these things, 
but they do -- that's for another rant however. 

The sudden popularity of computers caused the consumer public to demand 
customer service -- see: "the customer is always right" (see: "bullshit"). 
Why? 

In the early days of any revolutionary technology, only geeks or 
determined individuals will make any attempt to utilize it. These 
individuals are used to cutting-edge technology. They know it's new, they  
know it's unreliable, and most importantly, they know they must do ALOT 
of reading and research  before they expect they'll be able to get any use 
out of something.

The average idiot does not have the mental capacity to understand these 
simple things. They want it for free or cheap, they want it now, and they 
are unwilling to take any effort towards educating themselves about 
anything they become dependant upon.

Customer Service has ballooned from a simple courtesy extended to 
end-users who encounter problems beyond their control to a grossly abused 
and mismanaged entity that usually serves little or no useful purpose at 
all.

Huge call centres receive hundreds of thousands of calls a day from angry, 
bitchy customers who are unhappy with a product or service and usually 
it's because they don't understand it, can't use it, or have broken it 
somehow.

These call centres become so huge and unmanageable, many corporations opt 
to utilize a whole new industry which has grown from this mess -- Customer 
Care Services. Everyone knows about Convergys. Everyone probably knows 
someone who has worked there, or at least one of the many other customer 
care management companies that exist. This person more than likely worked 
there a short time and then quit, coming away with nothing but stress, 
grief, bruised self-confidence, and numerous horror stories about 
some sort of abuse or otherwise unfair treatment.

Rather than well-trained, experienced technicians and knowledgeable 
company staff taking calls, due to the large volumes of useless queries, 
companies have been forced to forego quality, with quantity and employ 
thousands and thousands of $10/hour, poorly trained, under-appreciated 
individuals who dislike their jobs. 

Though, in all fairness, given the disproportionate ratio of idiots to 
non-idiots in the world, there's a pretty good chance that these employees 
are just as dumb as the end-users they're taking calls for.

This causes a vicious cycle of the incompetent screwing up the even more 
incompetent. All the while, the small handful of intelligent people like 
yourself who simply want to use a service and never talk to anyone get 
shafted by high costs and poor service which results from the enormous 
expense companies must fork over to their customer service divisions.

What can be done? Well, you can't do anything. You can make yourself feel 
better and NEVER call customer service until you've exhausted every 
resource available to you to solve a problem, or answer a question.

If you're an average idiot, and somehow you've read this far through the 
file without falling asleep, realize this: You do not need a wireless 
phone. You do not need to get on the internet. There is nothing there. You 
do not need to check your email. You're not important, no one needs you to 
be readily available so stop believing you can be by purchasing the newest 
and greatest services.

If you NEED to be on the internet, and you NEED to be available on a cell 
phone, get two. No, get three. Three cell phones, three different internet 
connections and learn how to fix your computer for fucksakes. These things 
are garbage, don't expect them to work for you, and just because a company 
brags about 24 hour customer service, expect that "customer service" to be 
of no use to you what-so-ever.

Hopefully one day there will be a company which will provide products and 
services without customer service, just reliability. Looking at recent 
trends, I believe this may never happen. So, in the meantime, punch an 
idiot, don't use customer service, and expect to pay alot more for a 
service than you should simply because there are A LOT of idiots spending 
time on the phone, talking to each other and wiping their noses on YOUR 
dollar.


Special thanks to The Clone for
not being pissed off that I was
too  slow  to  finish  this for 
K-1ine #38.

AND Big Fat Shouts to:
The rest of the HackCanada Crew           <---- (my lazy, no 
& all of our close friends! Yay!                   effort sh0uts)


Thank you.


2003-04-21